Some specific QUESTIONS to ask yourself when revising your writing:
Is my purpose clear?
Example:
If I am writing a letter, is the reason for writing clearly stated?
Are my language, style, and tone appropriate for my purpose and audience?
Example:
In formal writing, it is important to use formal language. Casual language and "slang" are not appropriate.
It is usually inappropriate to directly address the reader by using the pronoun "you" in formal essays and reports.
Are my ideas expressed clearly and strongly, with precise, vividlanguage?
Example:
"a big box" → "an eight-foot-tall cardboard box with a smiley-face logo"
Is my content logically organized, with transitions to connect the ideas?
Example:
Does my introduction create interest, and does my conclusion bring my ideas together in a satisfying way?
Example:
I enjoyed my trip to the zoo.
vs.
My day at the zoo was an amazing, day-long safari around the world!
Example:
Overall, I had a great day at the zoo, but I was tired afterward.
vs.
I was exhausted at the end of my day at the zoo, but considering that I'd traveled by foot to every continent on Earth, it was definitely worth the effort!
Do I have enoughdetails to support my ideas, and did I use the best, most relevant supporting details?
Example:
Are my details accurate and clearly explained?
Are details about the rules of checkersrelevant, or not?
Are my sentencesvaried in length and structure?
Example:
Elijah traveled to the moon. He got out of his spaceship. He planted a flag. The flag said, "Elijah was here, but now he is gone." Elijah climbed back into his spaceship. He traveled back to Earth.
vs.
Elijah traveled to the moon. When he arrived, he got out of his spaceship and planted a flag that said, "Elijah was here, but now he is gone." Then, he climbed back into his spaceship and traveled back to Earth.
When revising your writing, the answers to the above questions may cause you to removeexcesswords, add or changewords for clarity or development, remove or rearrangesentences and paragraphs, rewrite an introduction or a conclusion, or make other changes related to the substance, style, readability, or structure of your writing.
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EDITING
Editing is fixing any mechanical or grammatical errors in writing.
When editing your writing, ask yourself —
1. Are my sentencescomplete and correctly formed?
2. Do my subjectsagreewith my predicates?
3. Have I followed all other grammar rules and conventions?
4. Is my writing correctly punctuated?
5. Are words and proper nouns correctly capitalized?
6. Are all my words spelled correctly?
Go to the next page to see an example of revising and editing in progress!
Example of Revising & Editing
Read this short paragraph that Hannah is writing about her father's work. It will be featured in the class newspaper.
(1) My dad owns a bakery in our town called Delicious Delights. (2) People stream in and out of his shop mourning, noon, and night for his totally awesome baked goods. (3) They mainly come for his freshly baked muffins and cookies. (4) His specialty treats, such as pies and cakes. (5) My dad is such a good baker that he has even won blue ribbons in baking contests all around the world. (6) Sometimes he bakes at home, too, but my mom really does most of the home baking. (7) As you can probably guess, I am very proud of my dad.
Hannah's purpose is clear — to write about her dad's work as a baker. However, her language is notalwaysappropriate for a paragraph she is writing for the school newspaper.
Example:
The phrase "totally awesome" could be replaced by a strong, appropriate word like scrumptious or delicious.
The conclusion in Sentence 6 could be reworded and strengthened to say, "I am so lucky and proud to have such a talented, amazing dad!"
(1) My dad owns a bakery in our town called Delicious Delights. (2) People stream in and out of his shop mourning, noon, and night for his scrumptious baked goods. (3) They mainly come for his freshly baked muffins and cookies. (4) His specialty treats, such as pies and cakes. (5) My dad is such a good baker that he has even won blue ribbons in baking contests all around the world. (6) Sometimes he bakes at home, too, but my mom really does most of the home baking. (7) I am so lucky and proud to have such a talented, amazing dad!
Hannah uses some descriptive language (e.g., streaming in and out of his shop, freshly baked muffins and cookies), but the paragraph would benefit from morespecific, descriptivelanguage.
Example:
She could also give specific examples of the countries around the world where her father won baking contests.
Perhaps people come in for his blueberry crumb muffins and banana cream cookies.
His specialty treats might be strawberry rhubarb pies and decadent Texas sheet cakes.
Hannah could add a sentence giving examples of her dad's blue ribbon winning recipes in two different countries: "For instance, he won first prize for his maple pecan pie in Ontario, Canada, and for his apple butter cream cheese cake in London, England."
(1) My dad owns a bakery in our town called Delicious Delights. (2) People stream in and out of his shop mourning, noon, and night for his scrumptious baked goods. (3) They mainly come for his freshly baked blueberry crumb muffins and banana cream cookies. (4) His specialty treats, such as strawberry rhubarb pies and decadent Texas sheet cakes. (5) My dad is such a good baker that he has even won blue ribbons in baking contests all around the world. (6) For instance, he won first prize for his maple pecan pie in Ontario, Canada, and for his apple butter cream cheese cake in London, England. (7) Sometimes he bakes at home, too, but my mom really does most of the home baking. (8) I am so lucky and proud to have such a talented, amazing dad!
The specific examples above really "spiced up" Hannah's writing. However, there are still a few more things she could do to make her writing more vivid and descriptive.
Example:
Additionally, in Sentence 5, the word good is a bit weak. It could be replaced with a stronger word, like top-notch, excellent, or brilliant.
(1) My dad, Karl K. Swift, owns a bakery called Delicious Delights right here in Grapevine, Texas. (2) People stream in and out of his shop mourning, noon, and night for his scrumptious baked goods. (3) They mainly come for his freshly baked blueberry crumb muffins and banana cream cookies. (4) His specialty treats, such as strawberry rhubarb pies and decadent Texas sheet cakes. (5) My dad is such a top-notch baker that he has even won blue ribbons in baking contests all around the world. (6) For instance, he won first prize for his maple pecan pie in Ontario, Canada, and for his apple butter cream cheese cake in London, England. (7) Sometimes he bakes at home, too, but my mom really does most of the home baking. (8) I am so lucky and proud to have such a talented, amazing dad!
Hannah's paragraph is organized well, and it now has a nice introduction and a satisfying conclusion. It also has some excellent, specific details. However, not all of the details she provides are relevant to her topic.
Example:
Additionally, Sentences 2 and 3 would be better combined into one sentence to eliminate extra, unnecessarywords, and to add a bit of sentencevariety.
(1) My dad, Karl K. Swift, owns a bakery called Delicious Delights right here in Grapevine, Texas. (2) People stream in and out of his shop mourning, noon, and night for his scrumptious, freshly baked blueberry crumb muffins and banana cream cookies. (3) His specialty treats, such as strawberry rhubarb pies and decadent Texas sheet cakes. (4) My dad is such a top-notch baker that he has even won blue ribbons in baking contests all around the world. (5) For instance, he won first prize for his maple pecan pie in Ontario, Canada, and for his apple butter cream cheese cake in London, England. (6) I am so lucky and proud to have such a talented, amazing dad!
Now it is time for Hannah to edit her paragraph, fixing any grammatical and mechanical errors. The first thing she looks for is to see if all her sentences are complete.
Example:
Going through the rest of the editing list, Hannah finds no additional errors in subject-verbagreement or other grammar rules. There are no punctuation or capitalization errors. However, there is one spelling mistake.
Example:
The words morning and mourning are commonly confused homophones.
Hannah needs the word morning, which is the time of day before noon. The other mourning is a word that means "expression of deep sorrow."
(1) My dad, Karl K. Swift, owns a bakery called Delicious Delights right here in Grapevine, Texas. (2) People stream in and out of his shop morning, noon, and night for his scrumptious, freshly baked blueberry crumb muffins and banana cream cookies. (3) They also love his specialty treats, such as strawberry rhubarb pies and decadent Texas sheet cakes. (4) My dad is such a top-notch baker that he has even won blue ribbons in baking contests all around the world. (5) For instance, he won first prize for his maple pecan pie in Ontario, Canada, and for his apple butter cream cheese cake in London, England. (6) I am so lucky and proud to have such a talented, amazing dad!
Go to the next page to practice revising and editing.
7th Grade Writing - Revising & Editing Lesson